I just had to write a quick post about something that has been on my mind. It's something I have been working on, praying hard about, and then been blessed with lately.....
Finding joy in motherhood!
Man alive do I love my kids, but they are SO much work. Unfortunately I hadn't been enjoying motherhood as much as I had in the past. Everything seemed so monotonous, so hard, so frustrating. To be honest, I was feeling a bit like the life was zapped out of me and all the "tasks" and frustrations stared me straight in the face.
And then I started to pray about it. I remembered Sister Chieko Okazaki's words about how the Lord wants to know the details of our lives (from her book "Lighten Up"). Sometimes I forget that. I pray over the same "big" things, but then forget about the fine details that make up my day.
I started telling Heavenly Father that I wasn't enjoying being a mom as much, how I felt cranky all the time, and how I seriously couldn't stand being in my house, doing the same EXACT things every single day. It just seemed like everything my kids were doing was actually meant to somehow make things more difficult for me. I asked for help to enjoy motherhood more, to have unconditional love for my kids, and to see them as He sees them (that's the biggest one of them all).
And you know what? A miracle happened. I started watching my boys as they ate their breakfast and thought it was the most adorable thing how Shaffer ate his cereal. It gets all over the place, but he tries SO hard to get all those Cheerios in his mouth. The way he smacks his lips when he chews is to-die-for adorable.
I started noticing how funny Logan is. He says some seriously funny things and has the sweetest smile. He and Shaffer both make theeee cutest expressions, a lot of which absolutely crack me up.
It's amazing what happens when your perspective of things broadens. Instead of being so "woe is me", I have come to realize how normal my kids are and how they never intend to do things just to frustrate me. They are always trying to please, it's just that they make mistakes.
The moral of this is that I LOVE my kids. True, genuine love. And I LOVE being a mom. It is insanely hard and often pushes me to my wits end, but nonetheless, I am totally and completely in love and grateful for my kids (& Josh!!). I am equally as grateful for Heavenly Father for helping me to see things more clearly.
I am grateful to be able to spend every day with them and to see how they grow and progress. I just need to keep praying for Christ's help and perspective.
(If you're looking for a GREAT parenting book read "5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges" by Richard and Linda Eyre. They are LDS and they are downright amazing. I am still in the middle of reading this book and am working to finish up another book before I jump back into it, but wow is it ever amazing!)