Warning: There is some serious oozing here. Beware!
(PS. Logan rubs his food in his hair at every meal time so this was his hairdo after a sink rinse and towel dry!)
Do you ever have those moments where your whole heart feels like it might just burst because you feel so full of joy and happiness and love? Today has been one of those days. All day tears have swelled up in my eyes and I have had to constantly choke back a cry because I am so in love with my family.
My heart flutters because I got a call from my amazing husband who has been away for a few days, and I feel like a teenager because I can't leave my phone anywhere but on my hip because I don't want to miss a call. Man am I grateful to be married to him!
I took the boys to the park instead of working out. Who would have thought that an adult could enjoy the park so much? Of course it isn't the park in-and-of-itself, but rather it's the smile that grows on your oldest boys face when he runs in the rain in his clothes and gets soaking wet. I don't have the heart to pull him in from the rain because he is splashing in puddles and I feel myself falling more and more in love with this little guy just by watching his face as he discovers the fun of playing in the rain. Every discovery is like magic to him.
Later on both boys sit on the swings and one learns the game "Under Dog" and thinks it is down right hilarious. The other is on the swing for the first time and has that twinkle in his eye that makes my heart melt. I think at that moment, how can life possibly get better than this? I can still hear them laughing and I hope that sound will always stay in my memory. I'm sure no one else noticed but I was beaming inside with joy because my time there with my boys, discovering and creating magic with them was nothing less than a gift from heaven.
My increasingly independent 19 month old sobs and sobs because it's bedtime, and so I sit with him, rocking back and forth in his chair as he lays his head on my shoulder for nearly half an hour and I hold back tears of my own- tears of love, gratitude, and peace. I soak up every single second of that cuddle-time and wish that time could just stop for the day. I hate the clock right now and I beg, please don't make my baby even a second older than he already is. Time is going by way too fast. Since when did he get so big? so heavy? so grown up?
And then there was the time earlier today when Shaffer woke up at 5:20 am and all I wanted was to hit the snooze button and go back to sleep, but of course I can't, so instead I get up, look at my sweet baby, drag him in to bed with me and feed him his bottle. He acts tired again, so I pull him in closer, touch his sweet face and comb back his hair like he likes- he looks so precious cuddled perfectly in to his mother.
These are fairly typical moments in a fairly typical day, and sure there has been the yucky stuff and the tantrums and moments of impatience by me, but still my heart is full and all I can think of is how blessed I am to be a mother! The hard moments of the day don't seem so terrible after all. I think of Logan trying to say Shaffer (Sha sha) and his cute little smile. I think of making Shaffer laugh and rubbing my hand through his blonde hair, and all the other sweet moments of the day. And I think to myself...what a wonderful world!